


Sacrifice

by Yulicia



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post-TLJ, The end half is post-tlj so don't read if you haven't seen it and don't want spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 16:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13058253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yulicia/pseuds/Yulicia
Summary: Hux has two revelations months apart.1. He would trust Kylo Ren with his life.2. Number one was a mistake.





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Жертва](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13100664) by [helenbeauty01](https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenbeauty01/pseuds/helenbeauty01)



It was about a month before the completion of Starkiller Base that Hux realised he trusted Kylo Ren with his life.

The revelation had come with no pomp and circumstance, and no particular event had set to trigger the thought. There was no significant action on Ren’s part to draw that feeling from where it had been hiding deep within him. It was just as if the galaxy had decided it was time for him to know.

It had come late at night, long after both of their shifts had ended and they had retired mutually to Hux’s quarters. Ren, unfortunately, only possessed a small single bed in his lodgings within the Finalizer and was woefully unequipped for guests. Hux’s quarters on the other hand were much more suited to shared living, being designed with a more permanent resident in mind. Hux didn’t mind that it was his quarters that they retired to and in fact Ren’s presence within the room was so familiar now that he wondered if it would ever feel the same without him again. 

Ren sat patiently on Hux’s bed, his back firmly set against the headboard. His legs were open, pre-emptively spread to leave room for Hux between them. He seemed at peace, merely waiting patiently for Hux to join him in his own time, glancing around the room as if he had not already seen his surroundings a thousand times and there were still things to see.

Hux, similarly, didn’t appear to be in any sort of rush. He removed his gaberwool greatcoat from his shoulders with a practiced but unhurried motion, hanging the item up in his closet so that it would not crease. He heard a quick, amused huff come from where Ren sat and as he turned to the sound Ren was looking straight at him.

“What?” Hux inquired, an eyebrow cocked.

Ren shook his head as he huffed a laugh. “Nothing. Will you hurry up?”

Hux held back the urge to roll his eyes. It seemed as though Ren’s patient look was not as true as he has initially took it to be.

Ren watched Hux closely as he drew closer to the bed, gazing at him with a warm familiarity. He watched intently as Hux took a small, lifelike model of Starkiller Base from his desk as he passed it, cradling it carefully in his hands. Carefully not to break the model, Hux took off his boots with one hand and climbed onto the bed with a slight stumble, pressing himself into the gap Ren had left for him between his legs.

Hux let out a heavy, relaxed sigh as his back pressed against Ren’s chest, the material of the robes he still wore making a slight shuffling sound as he settled in. Without instruction Ren reached forward to wrap his arms around Hux’s middle, pressing his face into the back of Hux’s neck. Hux could feel Ren’s nose jabbing into his skin, but as he was finding with many things Ren did that should have been irritating, he found he didn’t mind. He heard Ren let out a pleased huff, the noise not dissimilar to the one he had made himself.

Hux let himself close his eyes, pressing into Ren’s warmth. It was familiar, this. It had become something of a nightly ritual for the pair and it still shocked Hux to think that this is how their relationship had ended up. To begin with their coupling had been nothing but roughness in the pursuit of mindless pleasure but somewhere along the way it had eased into something softer. Hux wished he could solely blame Ren for making him weak, but knew that it had been a mutual downfall. They had both wanted his, both so depraved of affection for so long that it felt only natural for the pair to seek it in the only place they could.

Hux could hear Ren’s even breathing behind him and could feel the puffs against his neck. It tickled but not enough to draw laugher from him. Ren’s fingers twitched, unable to stay stationary against Hux’s stomach. Hux could barely feel the movements below his thick uniform jacket, but what he could feel was just enough to make him twitch. He felt his lips drawing into a smile – an action he felt himself allowing more and more these days, but only ever near Ren.

Hux fingers trailed over the grooves of the model Starkiller that he held in his hands. Its completion was so close and the prospect of being able to see the finished product of years of hard labour filled him with fiery excitement. He felt like he was watching his child beginning to grow up, the protectiveness he felt over this truly impressive weapon not unlike something a father would feel.     

Ren groaned against him, drawing him from his thoughts. “Don’t do that.”

Hux’s brows furrowed, his eyes slowly opening. He turned his head, facing Ren as best he could without disturbing their position. “Do what?”

Ren lifted his head from where it had been against Hux’s neck and looked at him. He looked at Hux down the bridge of his nose and Hux was overcome with the strange urge to press his own nose against it. He pressed down the sudden feeling, knowing that were he to execute his brains odd order then Ren might think him mad.

“I could feel the shift in you, you were consumed with a powerful darkness,” Ren said cryptically, “You always feel dark when you think about Starkiller.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Hux asked.

Ren shook his head, smiling. “Not usually. Just feels too intense when you switch from contentment to excitement so quickly. Gives me a headache.”

Hux paused, not quite knowing how to react to that. He wanted to make a comment about Ren also giving _him_ a headache constantly on the bridge but he felt his tongue. “You can read me that well?” He said instead.

Ren nodded as if it were the most obvious answer in the galaxy.

“Could you tell me what I was thinking right now?” Hux asked, genuinely curious. Ren’s force powers were an endless source of questions for Hux. It was a power that he longed to understand but knew deep down would unlikely never truly be able to. It did not stop him wanting to. He wasn’t one to give up so easily.

Ren huffed a laugh. “It’s not that exact,” he said, “I mostly just get feelings. Pulses of things that take some time to understand.”   

“But you could read my mind if you wanted to? I’ve seen you do it on prisoners. It’s quite impressive.”

“Of course, but it would be painful. I’d never use the Force on you; I wouldn’t want to hurt you. You’re mine, I’d never hurt something that was mine.” Ren’s grip around his waist tightened as he spoke, the possessiveness in the gesture making Hux feel giddy. He never thought he be so okay with being owned. He supposed that was another strange thing Ren had drawn from him that he never expected to be possible.

“Never? I find that hard to believe.”

Ren hummed. “Believe what you like, but I stand by what I said.”

Hux felt a rush of something warm run up his spine. It made his cheeks flush and his heart pound. He found himself smiling again. “So just feelings then. What am I feeling right now?”

Ren’s brows dipped in deep concentration. He worried at his lip. “Warmth. Safety. Something brighter I can’t place.” Ren paused for a moment, seeming to trail off. His head tilted slightly to one side, his fingers twitching against Hux’s stomach, pressing more incessantly there. He then gasped, the sound sudden but quiet and muted. “Love.”

Hux barked a laugh but his heart was pounding. “Alright, don’t get ahead of yourself.” He was infinitely glad that his back was to Ren or else the Knight would likely be able to see the intense red tint his cheeks took at the words - though he was sure the colour had no doubt spread to his ears. Love. Ren was right, but he shouldn’t have said it.

Ren said nothing in reply, only pressed his lips to the back of Hux’s neck, right at the beginning of his hair. His lips were soft and Hux sighed heavily through his nose, his body seeming to release all of the tension he had been holding in it. He let Ren kiss along his neck and along the back of his ears, holding back the strange sounds he felt bubbling in his chest. A few slipped through, odd squeaks previous partners had always mocked him for, but Ren said nothing, only continued to shower him in affection he did not deserve.

It felt as though an eternity had passed when Hux finally spoke again, his voice heavy with the very beginnings of sleep. “Did you really mean that?”

“Mean what?” Ren said, a similar drowsy thickness claiming his voice too.

Hux paused, pressing his lips together. “That you’d never use your powers on me.”

Hux felt Ren nod against his back. “Yes, I did.”

Hux felt that same rush of warmth run through him again. He said nothing in reply, knowing that Ren probably didn’t require one. Hux figured that he could probably just gather what he felt. His suspicions seemed to be confirmed as Ren shifted, pressing himself even further around Hux, seeming to engulf him with every possible limb that he could. Hux felt as though he was being hugged by a very friendly Rathtar. He didn’t mind it, not when the Rathtar was Ren.

Ren’s voice was low when he next spoke. “You have my word.”

* * *

 

It was mere weeks after Starkiller’s destruction, some time after their parting from one another, that Hux realised that he had been a fool, and that Ren had not spoken the truth.

This, unlike his revelation months ago came directly as a result of Ren’s actions. It was him had caused this realisation. The galaxy had nothing to do with it this time. This was on Ren.

He gasped around the invisible hands around his throat. Sweat dripped from his brow, the fire engulfing what once had been Snoke’s throne room uncomfortably hot. Snoke’s corpse lay heavily by the throne, a stench from the body beginning to taint the room’s air.

“The Supreme Leader is dead,” Ren spat with more vitriol than Hux had even experienced from the man. It made him feel sick.

Hux clawed at his throat, fighting an enemy that he could not see or touch. Logically he knew that his hands would do nothing, but instinct took over and he could do nothing to stop it.

Ren wanted power, it was obvious. If Hux did not concede he knew he would die. It made his skin crawl to give up the chance for the throne but he knew that it was either forfeit his power or his life. He wasn’t exactly fond of either option but he knew one to be infinitely better than the other. His eyes filled with tears, one’s he told himself were just natural side effects of his current struggle for air.  

“Long live… the Supreme Leader,” he replied, his response strangled by Ren’s power constricting his throat.

Upon his words Ren let go and Hux dropped heavily to the floor, his knees crashing against the tiling of the room. He hacked and spluttered, trying desperately to draw air back into his lungs. He was bent forward, his hands grasping desperately at the ground.

“ _Liar_ ,” Hux spat, his voice croaky and uneven. There was a lump in his throat and it hurt to talk around it. “You _promised_ ,” he said, his words catching on the beginnings of a sob.

Hux looked up, watching Ren’s back as he strode away. Ren froze at his words, turning to look at him. There was something strange in his eyes. Something that Hux might have thought was guilt had he thought he still knew Ren. It had been so long since he’d felt like he knew the man that he didn’t trust himself to read him anymore.

“Things change,” Ren said, his voice gravely and deep. Hux remembered when that same voice used to murmur sweet nothings to him while no one was watching. Tell him little secrets and things Hux wanted to hear. The memory only made his heart hurt more. Ren paused, their eyes locking. Through the haze of tears Hux thought Ren’s own might have glistened in the firelight, something perhaps close to regret evident in his eyes. Ren opened his mouth to speak and it seemed as though he might have been poised to apologise but as quickly as his mouth had opened it snapped shut and Ren stormed away, leaving Hux alone in the burning throne room.

For the first time in a long time, Hux let himself wallow. He let himself feel as terrible as he did instead of pushing it away, let himself cry ugly, chocking sobs that he was glad no one could hear. There was no one here but corpses and dead men couldn’t share his shame.

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling wetness drip down his nose and let himself remember a time when he was happy. When he loved Ren and Ren loved him. Somewhere along the way the latter part had been lost, but Hux had never stopped.

He knew it would be his downfall.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Stardestroyervigilance on tumblr and @yulicia0 on twitter if you'd like to come say hi on either! :)


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